Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Things has not been going well in life for me..28yo this year with a thai gf, monthly income only 2.5k before cpf
Father has "abandon" me since i was 15 and i have been moving, staying around with my relatives like soccer ball.. move here and there since 15 till now, i don't really like the idea of renting out cus very expensive, so i thick skin abit stay with relatives Recently father divorce with his latest girl and just sold his flat and came to me say want buy a 3 rm resale with me. I was happy about it cus after so long i can finally have my own roof over my head and with my name in the hdb i can maybe get my thai gf a long term visa easily. Relationship has never always been great between me and my dad.. since young i have despited him for not giving me an actual roof over me, just throw me one side only.. and always go find mistress before he divorce with my mum.. wasnt home all the time.. once a few years back i had been chased out by one drug addicted relative i asked if i can go stay with him and his new wife he say need to ask wife first, after that it was a no... very sad to hear that.. instead he got me a roof at my granduncle place, the place is very rundown.. i bobian have to put up with it.. things turned sour after that, cus granduncle dont usually turn on lights at night cus he wanna save electricity.. i offered to pay for electricity but he dont want my money.. i also feel paiseh to turn on lights if he didnt accept my money also.. after that i moved out after another relative from my mum side offered me a place to stay. Now back to present day.. father recently just divorced with the girl and ask me to buy flat with me.. i am happy cus can get my own roof after so many years of putting up with other people..... i can also get a long term visa for my gf easier now! but then again, my relationship with him isnt always the best... Recently got one viewing... he bought his new gf along with us.. and he goes something along that "when we view the flat, i must like, you must like, aunty must also like" i was like... what the fuck? Why must she like? I didnt even ask my gf if she likes or not... Viewing time got to know that i cant use all my cpf to pay cus the flat dont last me till i am 95yo.... called up cpf they say can but need to pay cash monthly if wanna use finish my cpf... i told my dad this is not feasible plan.. what if one day he pass away and i have to tank his share as well if i have a family of my own? He turns to me and scold me asked, what do i mean by that? Says i mean he has to pay finish the loan before he die for me.. wtf? I didnt mean that... he twisted my words... Next his bday, he told me the new gf daughter bought him dinner to repay him cus he gave her 1k to helped her out with her financial difficulty period.. another wtf moment as he nvr gave me a single cent before, his money his problem, i also dont gian his money as i have my own too.. i am just dissapointed how come he can treat other people daughter so nicely but treat his own son like dirt.. many of the ad hoc things i did for him he never see with in his eyes... I am really at lost here, is there anyone that managed to read finish till here able to tell me if i should buy or dont buy with him Gf was telling me to buy real life friends some say buy some say dont buy, wait till 35 years old buy own flat... I really wanna tio this week toto first prize and get my own place... |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Go ahead...
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Assuming what you posted is true, then I would say forget it...your old man seems to getting you to buy (with him) out of desperation.
3-RM flat, means 2 bedrooms and you mentioned that his latest gf has a daughter? If after buying, the gf ask your father to give a room to her daughter? Where are you going to stay? Furthermore, next time when your old pass on, do you think he will give his share of the flat to you? Or you have buy over at market price then from his gf then? I thought there is some HDB scheme for non-citizen spouse? you don't qualify? |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
I have check the non-citizen spouse alr, seems like i am only able to buy resale and not bto... at this rate if i dont buy, is it better i raise a kid in thai better? While i work in sg... at least i got one relative she still dote me alot, i can move in and stay with her |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
Alternatively, she can transfer the ownership of her flat to her daughters and retain your father's share. Yes, you have to buy resale flat this time round, but what is stopping you to sell it off later on, to buy a BTO when your gf (then wife) obtains PR? Everyone can loan HDB twice, it is just your first loan is for resale. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
Selling away the flat next time will be at a lost for sure... end up i will lugi... If the gf not married to him, he can pass down to her? I didnt know about this |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Ah boy, yes you can, all your old man needs to do is to write a will stating he will bestow his assets to whoever he wants after he pass on then it is done. Marriage or not is not a deciding factor.
There is no law that say someone cannot leave his assets to you if you are not related. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Don't worry about it, you asked nicely so I am happy to share whatever little knowledge I have.
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
TS it sounds like a no from me. You should not buy the Hdb with your dad. all signs tells me that there will be a lot of trouble after you move in together. You will regret your decision.
Buy resale hdb with your girlfriend instead, under non citizen spouse scheme. But both of you must get married. If not there will be a lot of trouble if you want to take out your name later on which you and your dad bought together. Your father unable to service the loan etc and you paying for a roof for him and his gf. It will then be difficult to kick them out later on |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Dear TS, from your description of your dad, please run road far away from him. He is just using you for his own desires and you still have a long way to live. Your life don’t need someone like him.
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Wait for a few more years and you can buy your own 3-room. Maybe HDB will change its rule soon and allow 30 year old to buy?
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
My answer to you is simply: NO Dont buy it with him. When your dad gone, he most likely will leave his share to the gf. Even if not, maybe the gf's daughters. Unless you make joint tenancy, which the other owner being you will automatically inherit his share when he's gone. ya maybe he didnt care for you. But thats his own life and your own life now. Now he's simply just trying to make use of you. I tell you la if you share something with the wrong person, life will become hell for you. Be it property, joint bank account, investment, business, etc. Never share it with the wrong person. I give a nightmare scenario, if he turns out to be the wrong person to buy a flat with: 1. His gf whole family move in and live together while renting out (or even sell off) the gf flat and dont share any proceeds with you while you continue to pay for this flat. 2. He lock you out. Just need buy a new lock and dont let you have the keys. Dont say not possible. It happens often to couples, why not dad & son? At most you can only call police come, say you are owner also and have right to enter the flat. Police only will talk and talk ask you two to go solve your own family issue, etc etc. Next day you come home after work he lock you out again. Rinse & repeat, wasting 2-3 hours every night for this drama. Even if you can take such abuse, what about your wife? 3. Since your experience with your dad is like non existent anymore, how you ever thought if he would do something funny to your wife? Filming.... touching..... rape. Even fathers can do that to own daughters nowadays, what about a daughter in law which he doesnt feel to have a relation to? How much do you know him? 4. Next time you have baby how? Hows your dad like? Doesnt sound like he's some good man (sorry). Your baby cry & cry in the middle of every night, waking up the whole house. Will your dad be that understanding enough to endure all of it? rather just buy your own resale flat. No such problems / threats. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Marriage or housing with a wrong person will implicate the whole family. Even if you must continue to rent you should not have anything to do with this dad who wasnt really there for you. BIG WARNING TO YOU ALREADY! DONT BUY HDB WITH YOUR DAD! Buying property with your dad will implicate you tremendously and may even make you lose a big fortune.
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
I say buy. Your father has no money to fully pay for the house on his own. So he needs you in to stretch the loan into affordable monthly instalments. He also realised he has no chance to get a 2 room flat bto if he has used up his 2 chances at subsidised housing. No one else he can own a house with. With you using your cpf, the monthly cash instalments are more affordable when it is split between the two of you. Just buy under Joint ownership so that he has no option to Will away his share.
Right now, you are moving around with relatives. Living out of other people's kindness, I think you are better off owning a flat despite all the potential problems you may face. Your father is just horny and wants face in front of his auntie gfs. Just play along. Soon, he will be old and penniless.. Which auntie wants him then? So what if there is a loan when he passes on? He will be contributing to the initial down payment and on-going monthly instalment right? You can always rent out his room to earn a rental income which can be used to pay off the mortgage. Older flats tend to be located in better locations. Somehow I think the area is circuit road or toa payoh. As for your Thai gf, gfs come and go. Unless there are plans to marry within 1 year, don't need to factor in their views lah. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Yr dad does not sound like the rational type or someone that tresures the relationship with you. For your own peace of mind, do not get involved with him. HDB flats are very long commitments.
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Imagine fighting everyday for small stuffs with your father? Negative force will bring you down further and even affect your work & health.
I have seen many people getting poorer and poorer, not because they are lazy but simply the stress from families and NOK pull them down. These people eventually lose their job and start blaming governments but not themselves on their poor decision making. You know your father is fuck up and you still want to live with him and his gf? is as good as shooting yourself in the foot or ah tiongs saying "No zuo no die why you try? 不作不死" |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
TS, thanks for sharing this. I personally feel ur father is making use of you... Ultimately he will have to choose between u or his gf... Frm the way he has abandoned you before i think very very likely he will choose his gf... You have the right to reject your dad, but the reason sld be because u need to protect yourself. If you're thinking of buying the property with ur dad maybe can talk to a relative whom u trust? Someone in the family that can help u if all goes south between u and ur dad.
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
All fair and good, the key point is father of TS must agree to it, if not it don't work. The other thing is there is a way to get round this. In the event, the father marry his latest gf, he then can transfer his ownership to his new wife while still alive. It can be done, and I have seen it happened. TS then will have to be contend living with his new stepmother... |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
If you read the first post of TS, I think he expect his old man to pay for part of the flat, remember when I suggested for him to get a resale flat under the non-citizen spouse scheme, he said it was not worth buying? So I don't think the timing is not significant to him but the cost is. From what I see, the only pro with buying with his old man is lesser cost for TS and con? Maybe next time the potential stepmother will live in the flat (even after her husband died) and if TS wants to upgrade or rent out his room? Forget it. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
hi guys, was busy the last few days and didnt have time to login and check the responses. really appreciated the responses from u guys
i was reading thru some replies and i realised i forgot to add in some points 1.) my dad will be paying all of the cash extras, i am only paying with CPF ONLY 2.) should there be any situation (eg. big fall out with father) few years down the road and if i decide to move out (let's say we are under joint tenant scheme), is it possible to withdraw out my name along with my cpf to buy another flat together with my wife next time? (foreign spouse scheme as mentioned by fellow samster here) 3.) after reading all the replies here, i'll be going with joint tenant instead of tenant-in-common. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
But never share something important like property, with someone you cant trust. If it eventually turns out fine, its because you were lucky. Dont leave such things to luck. |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
No such thing as withdraw name from HDB. Yr dad must buy out your share at the minimum amt of " CPF used + accrued interest"
If dad not on talking terms... even getting a worst case HDB rental flat is going to be a very interesting conversation with the HDB officer. |
Quote:
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
In the event he passed on, his son can kick his stepmother out after taking over the complete ownership, that was the argument presented. Of course the circumstances was not exactly the same as TS. But I agreed 请神容易送神难, I mean TS is not exactly having a easy life then why add more problems? |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
as mentioned in one of my previous replies, i cannot use all my CPF to pay for the flat as resale flats are too old to last me till i'm 95yo.. so if i insist to use finish my CPF for this flat's payment, i can't use CPF to pay for the monthly loan payment, have to use cash. so my father say got 2 options. first, we buy down first thn pay by cash (all he settle, i no need pay) thn go MP appeal see can use CPF or not. if die die cannot thn he say he will settle all the monthly loan payment till his last breath. after that, i'll carry the burden also a good point bro funboi, i was also thinking of using this flat as a tool for me to get my wife-to-be a PR first after that buy a 4rm BTO with the sales profit of the resales. i think should be able to convince him |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
cant be staying with relatives till im 35 (not sure if im able to get the BTO Queue too) to get my own flat.. living out of their kindness.. somemore they very old already.. donno can last till when |
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Quote:
|
Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?
Save your money, just bum around other people house for as cheap as possibleuntil u reach 35 to buy your own hdb
|
All times are GMT +8. The time now is 09:16 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
User Alert System provided by
Advanced User Tagging (Pro) -
vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copywrong © Samuel Leong 2006 ~ 2023