How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

We have decided to proceed to divorce.
8yrs marriage, 1 new kid.

Hdb 90% paid by me.

Indirect contribution such as housework and meals, fetching wife( in the past when she work) about 30-40%.

We have a kid less than a year old.
She stopped work right after pregnancy.
But she should be able to get job with $3-4k salary.

Due to communication breakdown and her constant emotional abuse, we have decided to divorce.

Flat is 70% paid. She contributed 50k initially, everything else I'm paying, instalment, rest of the downpayment.

My concern is how will we split the asset? As I've been trying to clear off the housing loan within shorter loan tenure.

What maintenance fee to expect for kid n spouse?

How do I move on to save up and buy a flat for myself if asset and maintenance fee is high?

Whats your experience financially for those who went through divorce? How long it takes to stand back up? It just seems tough financially. (Main concern)

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

That depends if she want to fight you in court a not. Hopefully you are paying your hdb thru cpf. If you are paying by cash say you lose big time after you sold your property.

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

Prepare excel spreadsheet with details going back as far as you can remember.

Mortgage contributions, how much you spend each month on the household etc.

Bring them all to an experienced lawyer who can advise you on what a reasonable settlement is based on individual contributions and your ability to pay. They will usually have a proposal for you in an hour. Get a second opinion if you don’t like what you hear.

Good thing for you she’s only stopped working for a year.

Regardless of the rubbish that gets spewed here all day long regarding divorce, the court will always expect the ex-wife to become self sufficient rather than depend on the husband forever.

Unless you’ve been giving her a Tai tai lifestyle for decades which doesn’t sound like it.

There’s no such thing as the court passing moral judgement on either party and awarding that party more on any moral justice grounds.

If what you’ve said about her character is true, she will fight you tooth and nail, and also use your child as a weapon against you.

The good thing for you is that your child is one. Do it now if you must, or wait till he/she is mature. How much do you want to suffer?

You will suffer economically for sure, but no one can tell you how much based on the information you’ve given.

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

She was abusive throughout the marriage? Or only after your child was born?

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

Men are usually destroyed by divorce in SG due to the women charter
Good luck and All the best to you bro... take care !

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

Ask a lawyer, no one can advise you this. It will consist of more details...as for how long it takes to stand back up...it really depends on which areas you mean...financially or emotionally or something else? If its financially, it really depends on how much you are earning currently...for emotionally, no one besides you can tell the difference...

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

I wanted to share my 2 cents on this.

First of all, what you need to know, this is not the end of the world. You can recover from it, it is a matter of time, effort, patience and resilience to move forward.

Secondly, the advice provided by Larue is sound, go do your homework and go seek a professional for next steps.

Thirdly, think worst case scenario then plan for it. Use that to baseline what you can reasonably afford. Be reasonable, do not skimp as you have a child. Be honest, use facts as well as figures and be authentic.

If you need to talk, happy to connect.

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

this is only your side of the story! if you makan outside and get caught just admit it! :D

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

Agree, a good divorce lawyer will advise you. Alimony you need to pay to maintain her current lifestyle only if she is not able to support herself. Kid maintenance will need to pay if she has sole custody. If joint custody then depends on living arrangement. Tricky part here is the matrimonial asset. High chance your wife’s lawyer will say the hdb is a matrimonial asset hence ask for 50:50 split regardless who paid for it.

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

You just came over from edmw?

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

From experience its abt 70/30 split between u and her in terms of assets . Maintainance jus maintain the kid and even then it should be split between u both ...... court is not here to judge who is right wrong and award more to the correct person . Court is here to help u move on equitably and w the kids best interest . Get a good lawyer impt . Dont be intimidated by her or the divorce. Women charter is not wat u think it is or spewed by some mis informed bros in this forum . U will feel some pain financially but u ll recover soon. Dont worry . Conc on doing ur due diligence and digging up expenditure history etc ..... good luck and do not despair ..... if u do jus go out find paid sex !!

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

that's not true at all! stop spreading misinformation.

Re: How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?
 

I divorced recently,so it depend contest or uncontest, basically think she will contest,so basically , if she want the whole unit ,u can write over to her n pay maintenance for the kids, this can happen,if u contest back ,u will also be in shit, unless she reasonable,

How about the cpf payback? She wanted to sell, then wants the house now. She's not even working, how she's gonna take loan to take over the balance loan?

Doesnt she has to buy over my share? Plus I don't have cash to put back to my own cpf.

Almost throughout. We are not compatible to start with.

After child born, things get worst that I want out. I have no control or say in the house. She has trust issue, anything everything has to find people(me usually) to blame. Changed a few nanny's during confinement. Postbirth depression but refused medicine from doctor.

Felt like being used for shelter and financial. No longer a mutual working relationship. Deny everything Ive done,providing meals for months is all false according to her. Now she keep claiming I do nothing to help her and baby.