Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20232402)

I think a lot of bros can relate to this; the feeling of being a lonely chiongster. Most of us live double lives; in our public persona, we are probably seen as someone decent and no one would actually believe we are paying for sex, but well, we are.

For myself, I'm from a decent middle class family, and I've always seen as a "good boy" in everyone's eyes, from schooling days all the way to my working place. Everyone sees me as the good innocent boy. At the same time, I am pretty undesirable, I'm everything opposite of the ideal image of a man. Opposite of tall, good looking, rich, talents, and normal. None of my dates go beyond the 1st date, I've been ghosted countless times both in real life and online, I've never been in any relationship before, and none of my friends are keen on introducing me to anybody. In that sense, no one pays attention to my love life, I'm just an unimpressionable good boy in their eyes whom they will deem not good enough for their friends, and that I will eventually find someone, but nobody wants to be that someone. That's okay, I've accepted it.

But I got to say, I foresee my road ahead to be a pretty lonely one, I will continue
chiong because I have pretty high sex drive, but it will all be off the radar. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this double life for as long as possible.

Any bros out here living a "double life" as well?

Originally Posted by pearlnjewel (Post 20233017)

Hi bro, how old are you?

I can relate to you. I'm living a double life like you too haha. No one knows my double life except my friends and I go to siam diu and ktv together. There is nothing we can do now except to become the type of girls they want. They want strong character, good at articulating and they must like you. The last point is subjective depending on each girl preference, be yourself and as one bro here shared, always be selfless and no expectation of sex, only treat them as friend. If the girl get closer to become gf eventually give sex good.

The truth is likely you can't easily get sex from normal girl in today environment. I have no manual for that too. Just focus on doing what you like in your career. You may find out tomorrow that you have stage 4 cancer and left with months to live. Enjoy today and do what you want, go out with friends.

I can say I slowly got used to become OK with not having gf since I am nearing 30s soon. I am sure many brow here struggle everyday. But doesnt mean any girl has to give sex. Go massage parlour or prostitute if really cannot tahan. Better than being malign for crime.

Technology has made girls assume supremacy in today's courting, they see many guys like their profile or chat them up and they want to run. If one day the girl find out that in their lifetime there is only one guy chatting the girl up it will become supply and demand, even if that only guy is normal like you and I, the girl will like you because supply and demand. There are too many choices for the girls nowadays. They want guys to stand out.

Also it is like a numbers game, selling to 100 girls maybe you lucky you will get only one sale. Its tough work. Everyday have to follow up make sure the girl remembers you. It's like an art in courtship. Slowly you will find the way.

I try to stop going to prostitute because the reward screws the mind to become less confident with normal girls. I don't know why is that for me. Unless I realise I am on hyperactive overdrive mode due to no sex for too long then I will visit massage girls once in a while. When hyperactive mood due to no sex sometimes will say wrong things.

Originally Posted by larue (Post 20233058)

Learn to love yourself. Make changes to your life. Just start with one thing, one little thing. Anything you've been wanting to change for a while but never got round to it.

You'll be much happier.

Odds are you won't do and continue to wallow because that's what most guys do. Remember there is no prize for self or mutual consolation.

You seem reasonably intelligent, it should be easier for you to make the change.

男人不坏, 女人不爱.

Of course don't take the 坏 too literally unless you truly are bad. You get the picture.

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20233097)

At least you got friends to go Siam Diu/KTV and chiong with. I'm doing it alone because my circle of friends aren't that sort of people, they're fairly successful in their lives, all happy with their partners and settling down. Haha I don't stereotype what a girl wants, I just know that I'm not their type and I'm not lucky enough to find someone who can accept me for who I am. Yea well, I have a handful of platonic female friends, experience have taught me not to stray beyond that zone with them. So I satisfy my biological needs with FLs.

Yea, focusing on my career is the name of the game (: Haha, I no longer go out much with my friends since I'm not on similar wavelengths with them, and I'm most usually the 3rd/5th/7th wheel when we all hang out together.

I'm nearing 30 as well haha! Yea I agree, I do frequent FLs but they're getting really expensive and limited no thanks to Covid19.

Haha, I'm not really bothered with the art anymore. Being hurt and burnt too many times already. I think I'll just be satisfy that at least I'm not wheelchair bound or bed ridden and can visit FLs, and MLs when my vitamin M allows.

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20233100)

Totally agree with you. Hmmm, that's a nice advice, I've always wanted to learn Japanese to open up the option of migrating to Japan, the ultimate solo country to live.

I don't see this as wallowing, I see it more as venting, and I do feel better after I wrote this and letting it out. I hope other bros will do the same.

Thanks! Shall look into learning Japanese.

Originally Posted by pearlnjewel (Post 20233168)

Haha I go siam diu ktv with colleagues, once you open up to your colleagues you will find out that they are naughty as you are and can go together to share the cost. So far siam diu more ex than ktv and both no chance of getting laid. Sounds like your friends all 'seem' successful and those are the guys the girls want. I know the jealous feel especially if the girlfriends are hot. Learn from the guys lol. Ya I know the different wavelength because the girls and guys got each other and talking about settle down baby and stuff.

If you go overseas alone chances are you might be very lonely there, I done that. I missed the FLS in Singapore during that time. Have a try maybe it will turn out good for you. Just don't have the expectation to find some girlfriend there.

Ya the art of courting is nonsense. You can ignore it.

Why are you burnt? Haha all guys get burnt. Me too. Ghosting by girls. Share your burnt stories.

Rent a hot girlfriend telling your couple friends you both are friends only next time if need to hang out together with them again and you don't want to feel like 3rd 5th 7th wheel. But you and the girlfriend you rent act like sweet couple to make the other girls and guys jealous. This money need to spend one. Sometimes for breakthrough.

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20233194)

Haha my colleagues mostly females. My male colleagues are all pretty high fliers as well, so they don't venture these places as well.

Haha, hard to learn when its really down to genetics for me. Yea that's why.

Haha, I'm already pretty lonely here anyway, well except for my long suffering parents haha! Yea will go with an open mind.

Haha! One of the worst burnt story on top of my head is this girl faking that she received a phone call from her friend, then saying that she needs to leave half way, we were suppose to get drinks after dinner. Of course, this is not before she ordered and ate to her hearts content. We were eating hotpot by the way haha. I was ghosted immediately when she left in a cab. The bill was close to 200 bucks, and though we agreed to go Dutch, she ghosted me le :'D

Nah, I don't set out to make my friends jealous or whatever.

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20233229)

Yea she suggested going Dutch, I usually pay for the first date anyway.

Haha well, at least you have the 1 - 2 dates later. Mine don't usually make it past the first date. Well so... may be the problem is me (: haha

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20232402)

I think a lot of bros can relate to this; the feeling of being a lonely chiongster. Most of us live double lives; in our public persona, we are probably seen as someone decent and no one would actually believe we are paying for sex, but well, we are.

For myself, I'm from a decent middle class family, and I've always seen as a "good boy" in everyone's eyes, from schooling days all the way to my working place. Everyone sees me as the good innocent boy. At the same time, I am pretty undesirable, I'm everything opposite of the ideal image of a man. Opposite of tall, good looking, rich, talents, and normal. None of my dates go beyond the 1st date, I've been ghosted countless times both in real life and online, I've never been in any relationship before, and none of my friends are keen on introducing me to anybody. In that sense, no one pays attention to my love life, I'm just an unimpressionable good boy in their eyes whom they will deem not good enough for their friends, and that I will eventually find someone, but nobody wants to be that someone. That's okay, I've accepted it.

But I got to say, I foresee my road ahead to be a pretty lonely one, I will continue chiong because I have pretty high sex drive, but it will all be off the radar. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this double life for as long as possible.

Any bros out here living a "double life" as well?

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20232402)

I think a lot of bros can relate to this; the feeling of being a lonely chiongster. Most of us live double lives; in our public persona, we are probably seen as someone decent and no one would actually believe we are paying for sex, but well, we are.

For myself, I'm from a decent middle class family, and I've always seen as a "good boy" in everyone's eyes, from schooling days all the way to my working place. Everyone sees me as the good innocent boy. At the same time, I am pretty undesirable, I'm everything opposite of the ideal image of a man. Opposite of tall, good looking, rich, talents, and normal. None of my dates go beyond the 1st date, I've been ghosted countless times both in real life and online, I've never been in any relationship before, and none of my friends are keen on introducing me to anybody. In that sense, no one pays attention to my love life, I'm just an unimpressionable good boy in their eyes whom they will deem not good enough for their friends, and that I will eventually find someone, but nobody wants to be that someone. That's okay, I've accepted it.

But I got to say, I foresee my road ahead to be a pretty lonely one, I will continue chiong because I have pretty high sex drive, but it will all be off the radar. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this double life for as long as possible.

Any bros out here living a "double life" as well?

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20232402)

I think a lot of bros can relate to this; the feeling of being a lonely chiongster. Most of us live double lives; in our public persona, we are probably seen as someone decent and no one would actually believe we are paying for sex, but well, we are.

For myself, I'm from a decent middle class family, and I've always seen as a "good boy" in everyone's eyes, from schooling days all the way to my working place. Everyone sees me as the good innocent boy. At the same time, I am pretty undesirable, I'm everything opposite of the ideal image of a man. Opposite of tall, good looking, rich, talents, and normal. None of my dates go beyond the 1st date, I've been ghosted countless times both in real life and online, I've never been in any relationship before, and none of my friends are keen on introducing me to anybody. In that sense, no one pays attention to my love life, I'm just an unimpressionable good boy in their eyes whom they will deem not good enough for their friends, and that I will eventually find someone, but nobody wants to be that someone. That's okay, I've accepted it.

But I got to say, I foresee my road ahead to be a pretty lonely one, I will continue chiong because I have pretty high sex drive, but it will all be off the radar. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this double life for as long as possible.

Any bros out here living a "double life" as well?

Originally Posted by runman (Post 20237430)

Hey TS, just wanna say I am in the same situation as you. It can definitely get lonely at times, especially when you look at the "happy couples" everywhere.

I myself haven't been in many relationships in my life. Personally, I've grown to like being alone, doing my own thing and answering only to myself. I have always been introverted. But it is getting increasingly difficult because society at large expects us men to find girlfriends, get married and have kids, just like our ancestors have done all these while. I would be lying if I said that I absolutely do not care how society perceives me, so I definitely feel the pressure to "settle down".

You are not alone. :)

Originally Posted by pearlnjewel (Post 20237530)

Here the only place single desperate helpless guys can freely share their thoughts and seek solace.

Pat on back*

Originally Posted by MrFuck (Post 20232402)

I think a lot of bros can relate to this; the feeling of being a lonely chiongster. Most of us live double lives; in our public persona, we are probably seen as someone decent and no one would actually believe we are paying for sex, but well, we are.

For myself, I'm from a decent middle class family, and I've always seen as a "good boy" in everyone's eyes, from schooling days all the way to my working place. Everyone sees me as the good innocent boy. At the same time, I am pretty undesirable, I'm everything opposite of the ideal image of a man. Opposite of tall, good looking, rich, talents, and normal. None of my dates go beyond the 1st date, I've been ghosted countless times both in real life and online, I've never been in any relationship before, and none of my friends are keen on introducing me to anybody. In that sense, no one pays attention to my love life, I'm just an unimpressionable good boy in their eyes whom they will deem not good enough for their friends, and that I will eventually find someone, but nobody wants to be that someone. That's okay, I've accepted it.

But I got to say, I foresee my road ahead to be a pretty lonely one, I will continue chiong because I have pretty high sex drive, but it will all be off the radar. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this double life for as long as possible.

Any bros out here living a "double life" as well?

Originally Posted by lotsfits80 (Post 20239350)

It's really not good to fake an entire relationship where the wife put her trust in her husband to be faithful but the husband eats outside without her knowledge.

Originally Posted by nanahoriuchi (Post 20251395)

I myself is almost the same as you bro i'm in my mid thirties this yr & never had a gf, was short <160cm. Got rejected by colleagues at 2 different wk place. Feeling lonely especially during friday night & weekends. Ppl would see me as a boy next door person, but pre covid i would visit gl almost every week, some times even when i don't hv the urge. Would like to join bros for outing if there is any pls pm me ya

Originally Posted by nanahoriuchi (Post 20251395)

I myself is almost the same as you bro i'm in my mid thirties this yr & never had a gf, was short <160cm. Got rejected by colleagues at 2 different wk place. Feeling lonely especially during friday night & weekends. Ppl would see me as a boy next door person, but pre covid i would visit gl almost every week, some times even when i don't hv the urge. Would like to join bros for outing if there is any pls pm me ya

Originally Posted by sshelterz (Post 20251944)

I feel for you bro. Cheer up. Let's be friends

Originally Posted by pearlnjewel (Post 20251956)

Hi big bro, feel for you. We can do a chengdu trip or Bangkok or Vietnam trip after border opens. Missing all the babes, and I'm sure the babes miss the money too.

Pm me for overseas chionging. Malaysia and Cambodia also

Originally Posted by runman (Post 20237430)

Hey TS, just wanna say I am in the same situation as you. It can definitely get lonely at times, especially when you look at the "happy couples" everywhere.

I myself haven't been in many relationships in my life. Personally, I've grown to like being alone, doing my own thing and answering only to myself. I have always been introverted. But it is getting increasingly difficult because society at large expects us men to find girlfriends, get married and have kids, just like our ancestors have done all these while. I would be lying if I said that I absolutely do not care how society perceives me, so I definitely feel the pressure to "settle down".

You are not alone. :)