In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

She is one of the weirdest person I have been with. Always tantruming. Always angry. Always jealous. In one such episodes, I stopped my car by the road. Walked over to the passenger side. Asked her what i did wrong again. Pleaded with her to tell me.

"I like you to be anxious over me", she replied with a sudden giggle

It was then that I realized the person I am with has some mental issues. No sane person likes to derive satisfaction by tormenting a partner.



************
************


I searched. There is a condition called NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is a personality disorder characterized by the personality traits of persistent grandiosity, an excessive need for admiration, and a personal disdain and lack of empathy for other people.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5, 2013) indicates that a person with NPD possesses at least five of the following nine criterias.

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people.

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement.

6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.


*************
*************


I checked off the list. She scores 8 out of the 9 attributes. Every outing with her has a 75% chance of her exploding on me. What I did wrong. What I said wrong. What I did to offend her. Why I didn't care about her feelings etc

I get blamed so often that I feel there is something intrinsically wrong with me. She enjoys venting on me, so that I can "understand her feelings". She enjoys making me apologize all the time, so that I will cower to her needs.

She wins every argument till I give up arguing with her.

I feel very manipulated. I feel emotionally drained and tired. The relationship is toxic.

Has anyone been in a relationship with someone like this before? Any advice on what I should do?

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

Is the sex good?
If the answer is no, end it.
Life couldn’t be simpler...

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

So now I know the medical condition to describe CB kia like chan chun sing and josephine teo.

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

have you assessed yourself for Masochistic Personality Disorder?

cause one of the traits is: "Chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available"

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

I feel you bro. My ex was like that . Had an of and on relationship for 3 years before she dropped out of my life. Later when I was about to get married she showed up and basically had me wrapped around her finger again almost making me lose my fiance. Came to my senses and cut her off completely and got married.

Now a decade on, she is still unmarried and calls on birthdays etc. I humour her because I had feelings for her but no regrets moving on. A normal home minister is already pretty stifling, an unhinged one would be impossible to live with. And no - this kind of woman does not change.

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

You should just end it if you feel it's toxic. You know what you want already. You just need to follow your heart.

Such relationships are extremely tiring to upkeep and maintain. You can never predict what's coming next for the rest of your life.

What if you have kids next time? Etc... do what you should.

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

How come their spouses never post here to seek advice? :D

Yeah, I got a friend who had a hubby like this.

She went to lawyer to get divorce. Yes it's the extreme action for her to do but I think it's necessary. Toxic relationship. And plus he was fucking other gals outside too. So divorce was the only way out.

Lucky for u to get out before marriage.

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

Get out of it before kenna trapped in a marriage or steady relationship..

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

I was in a relationship with such a woman back when I was studying. It was always about what she cared about. She had to be in the centre of my universe, otherwise she will go passive aggressive and more work had to be done to placate her. It came to a point where I have to decide if I should stand my ground and talk it out rationally with her or just give in to avoid dragging it out as I never win. Since that is the outcome every single time, might as well just short circuit the whole process to cut my losses. I felt like I cut my balls off too for not standing my ground. I was in my mid 20s, naive and easily manipulated.

We never got through one week without an incident, the relationship was draining me. Eventually when the straw did break the camel's back, I was never happier. It needed to be done before I got sucked into her world of extreme negativity. If you ain't married to her, its time to plan for your own life. We never had sex, the relationship was two years plus long. The constant squabbling made it impossible to feel amorous towards her.

On a side note, is your partner a Libran? I had two exgfs with exactly the same birth date with these tendencies (NPD is new to me, Neverending Pain in the Derriere). A lady friend of the same birth date is similarly troublesome and is currently single. I wonder if birth dates have anything to do with this.

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

Get rid of her immediately bro, or she will twirl you around her thumb till you go suicidal...

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

Hey bro is she hot and pretty? If the sex is good, just tolerate until you find a new partner...

Wah like that also can ah

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

I think it's best for you to assess the relationship and decide for yourself if you want to continue or let it go. We can only best guess the answer so it's best to decide yourself.

Whichever way you decide make sure you go all out to make it work or end it completely.

Good luck!

Re: In a relationship with someone with NPD. Advice needed
 

End it! Don’t think too much.