Quote:
Originally Posted by alleycat
I saddled into debts while running a side business. About 60k, and I'm under Debt Repayment Scheme. But I still provide, with my day job earnings.
I'm thinking of divorcing her since the passion is gone and I am a man here for her convenience (ferry her to work by car when its just 2 MRT stops away). Everything we discuss is either her job or kids.
She would often spend time on Netflix or texting her colleagues about work. Else she'd make time for hair, nails, leg waxing, eyebrow tattoo.
I have spoken to her about our marriage issue, lack of intimacy etc and we need to work on it. She just replied "ok", but nothing improved.
When my AWS last year and bonus came in this year, she just took my money put in her personal bank, says its to reserve for 'future car purchase' (Our old hyundai getz will be scrapped in 3 years)
I'm tired of putting in effort and not getting reciprocated. Plus all the rest of nonsense. On the surface, we look fine. My in laws would often help with my kids etc. But inside, I am dying, really unhappy.
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Not sure if I understand you correctly. Basically you are saying you are a bankrupt with 2 daughters. If you choose divorce, you have to probably sell the current house. Being an undischarged bankrupt, you can buy a new house on your own? Your Getz is probably registered in your wife's name. How are you better off in a divorce? You divorced already, with no money, no car and 2 daughters, with alimony and child maintenance to pay... outside not many women will want also leh.
She stayed with you even after you are bankrupt. Not bad leh. I dunno how many ladies will use that as a reason to leave. She took on a new job the same year your 2nd daughter is born. 2016 sounds like a stressful year for her. How many people will enjoy chatting with colleague about work in their rest time? I think she probably has no choice not to respond about work related questions while she is home.
You are her husband and someone she loves and feel safe with. Of course she shares her innermost thoughts about overseas holidays, getting you to send her to work (2 mrt stops also not far what). Just listen lah. When your wife keeps such mundane thoughts from you, that is when you worry. That means she already distanced herself from you. Very hard to pull back sometimes. As for putting your bonus in her personal bank account, can the bonus money go into your personal account if you are an undischarged bankrupt? She is still planning for your (both of you) future.
I suspect she is worried about pregnancy again with the current family financial situation. You got use condom or do family planning or not? Personal hygiene ok? KKJ got wash clean clean? Got ensure she is satisfied too? Got demoralise her by complaining about her figure after 2nd pregnancy?
Married life will surely become mundane over time. Important not to expect things to be like last time when both of you are single. Unrealistic lah. I think she is an ok wife. Most wives are like that what.. complain about this and that a bit. Order you around a bit like asking you to drive them around. Think of it as forms of language of love lah. Driving her around is an act of love. When others see you sending her to work, others know she is loved and treasured. Not so important to us but i think important to many ladies. Still being appreciated. I think your problems can work out. I don't see how being single again for you is an improvement. Somemore your 2 daughters so young. You willing to let them grow up without either daddy or mummy meh?