[passingthrough]

I have been travelling through Singapore for many years and for the last two years I have been seeing a regular girl from one of the Health Clubs. We have developed a friendship and she usually visits me at my hotel and stays for a few hours. We have always had protected sex using a condom but have both engaged in "oral" as part of foreplay.

I was recently on holidays with my family and my wife asked me what that mark was on my face. I had developed a cold sore about the size of a 20 cent piece on the side of my mouth. Shocked, I mumbled that I didn't know what it was (but of course it was pretty obvious to me). I had no itching, soreness or pain and was completely unaware it was there.

Needless to say the holiday for me was ruined and although my children didn't say anything I am pretty sure they have figured out the situation (one goes to college in the US and the other is studying medicine).

Not only do I feel I have risked my marriage of 25 years, damaged the respect my children have for me but I am of course now worried that I will pass it on to my wife. I have put everything at risk by my own stupidity and recklessness. Additionally, I am worried about having an incurable disease with such public symptoms.

Amazingly my wife has hardly said anything and our relationship seems to be good at the moment. She suggested maybe it was just a patch of dry skin on my mouth. We make love infrequently these days so I have some time to figure out what to do and say (or not). It really worries me that I am able to pass on the virus even though I may have no symptoms. I feel like an ass**** and the nicer she is the worse I feel.

I have bought Zovirax but as I have had the sore for about 10 days it is probably too late to treat it as it is starting to clear up now? I also have some cold sore cream containing camphor and menthol. Hoping this will speed the healing process.

I know the girl who infected me and which HC she works in. I briefly thought about naming her but in the end she is much a victim as I am and we all know the risks in sleeping with these girls. Obviously she is not the only working girl with the virus and I feel it would be unfair to single her out. My advice - if you need relief do it yourself or just get the girl to give you a handjob. Don't end up the way I have risking everything for a few moments of excitement. Don't let this happen to you.