DUMPED by pregnant foreign bride via phone - JULY 27, 2009
DUMPED by pregnant foreign bride via phone
HE thought he had found love after spending 10 years in search of a bride through matchmaking agencies.
By Crystal Chan
27 July 2009
HE thought he had found love after spending 10 years in search of a bride through matchmaking agencies.
Even when he learnt that the Vietnamese woman he chose to marry probably harboured feelings for an ex-lover, he continued to love her.
When Mr David Quek, 39, a facilities manager, learnt his Vietnamese wife, Madam Kim Vui, 21, was pregnant, he looked forward to starting a family.
But now, Mr Quek is in a quandary.
His wife has returned to Ho Chi Minh City and is refusing to return.
And not only has he probably lost his wife and unborn child, but he can't move on as it will be difficult for him to file for divorce.
Mr Quek said he got to know Madam Kim in mid-April through Vietnam Brides International, a matchmaking agency in Orchard Plaza.
'When I met Kim Vui, I thought she looked sweet and simple,' said Mr Quek.
She was nothing like some of the materialistic local women he had met through other dating agencies.
They went on dinner dates a few times a week and Mr Quek was happy enough to take her home to meet his mother. His father died several years ago.
The couple got married on 14 Jun. But their marital bliss was short-lived.
Two weeks after they tied the knot, Mr Quek got an angry phone call from a man who claimed to be the husband of Madam Kim's friend.
He told Mr Quek that Madam Kim had a 'husband' in Ho Chi Minh City and that the other man had asked Madam Kim's friend to get her to return to him.
Shocked, Mr Quek confronted his wife. Madam Kim denied that she was married, but admitted that the 'husband' was actually her former lover. She said they were no longer together.
Feeling cheated, Mr Quek took his wife back to the matchmaking agency on 29 Jun and demanded an explanation from its boss, Mr Mark Lin.
He said: 'I was angry as my wife would be a bigamist if she was really married in Vietnam. I called Mark and scolded him for hiding my wife's complicated background from me.'
Mr Lin denied deceiving Mr Quek, who had agreed to pay $7,000 in five instalments to have his marriage with Madam Kim arranged.
He said: 'I trust the girls to be honest but if they want to lie, there's nothing I can do.'
He also told Mr Quek that he should accept his wife's past if he really loved her.
Mr Quek patched things up with his wife but two days later, she told him her parents wanted her to return to Ho Chi Minh City to attend to some family matters.
So on 2 Jul, they flew to Ho Chi Minh City to visit her parents.
They were supposed to return to Singapore on 5 Jul, but Madam Kim said she wanted to stay with her parents for a few more days, promising to return on 25 Jul.
Mr Quek, who returned to Singapore on his own, said he did not think anything was wrong then.
He said: 'I thought she was homesick and I thought she'd be happy if she could spend more time with her family.'
Mr Quek described his wife as a simple woman who never asked him for money or shopped extravagantly.
He said his wife called him every day to ask after him and to tell him she was fine.
Then last Sunday, Madam Kim called to say she did not want to return to him.
Mr Quek said: 'I was shocked. I told her, 'Please don't joke about such things.' I asked if she was unwell but she just wouldn't tell me why she wanted to stay in Vietnam.'
Mr Quek believes his wife's ex-lover could be behind her decision to leave him.
Showing us his handphone, he said: 'After I returned to Singapore, I received text messages in a mixture of Vietnamese and English, telling me to stay away from my wife.'
The New Paper on Sunday was able to contact Madam Kim, who confirmed Mr Quek's worst fear.
Speaking through her Mandarin-speaking Vietnamese friend, Miss Julie Tan, 22, Madam Kim said she had come to Singapore to try to forget her ex.
Miss Tan said: 'But after the marriage, she realised she couldn't forget her ex even though Mr Quek is good to her.'
Mr Quek then tried to get the Singapore consulate in Ho Chi Minh City to help convince his wife to come back, but she was adamant about staying.
When asked what he plans to do now, Mr Quek said he would take time to consider his options.
Uncertain about future
He sighed: 'Whether I divorce her or not, I don't know if I'll get to see my child.
'I guess I'm just suay (Hokkien for unlucky). Other men have happy lives with their Vietnamese wives but I'm unfortunate to be in this situation.'
He added: 'She's carrying my child but if she doesn't return and chooses to abort the foetus, I can't stop her too.'
Mr Quek plans to visit a free legal clinic to seek advice on what to do.
If he fails to convince Madam Kim to return, it will also be difficult for him to move on.
The Women's Charter states that no divorces can be filed until a couple have been married for three years.
Lawyer Nicholas Cheong said Mr Quek can still file for divorce if he can show he has suffered exceptional hardship from his wife's departure.
But Mr Cheong also pointed out that it would be difficult for Mr Quek to make a clean break from his wife as she's pregnant.
He said: 'She's entitled to ask for maintenance for their child though she left him. As the father, Mr Quek is obliged to support the child.'
Mr Lin has told Mr Quek that he will waive the remaining instalment of $1,000 if Madam Kim still refuses to return.'My job is done once the marriage is solemnised. I introduce the girls to customers but I certainly don't guarantee successful marriages,' said Mr Lin.