Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldcut
Hello bros,
In the beginning, I thought this is a no-strings-attached relationship but then gradually, I feel that my FB has nice personality of girlfriend material. She is single and has given me top priority in everything.
Now, I finally understand that having a FB while you are attached is not an easy thing to handle.
Thanks
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Going to play the Devil's Advocate here..
Say if come a time your FwB/FB doesn't place you as top priority as much or anymore; or the sex with her becomes mundane;
or she reveals more or other aspects of her personality that you may find unattractive -- all possible with the passage of time.
With your fiance/gf, you've had 7 years of a recognized relationship. With this FwB/FB, the relationship is something that is kept in the shadows --
the secrecy can be intoxicating. IF your relationship with your FwB/FB were to come out into the open, would it play out the same way as your current relationship with your fiance?
It's anyone's guess...
Marriage is not to be entered into lightly ~ don't go into it for sake of face or flat. You owe it to yourself & your fiance to be clear about where SHE stands.
Aside from the sex & the GFE & the feeling of being special and important, a foundation built on mutual respect & compatibility is very important as well.
Come days when the GFE fluctuates (due to tiredness/stress/bills/kids etc) and the sex becomes less than exciting, would you be able to see the woman in front of you & honestly say
"I still love this woman for her character, strength, convictions, beliefs etc etc"
Before entering into matrimony, wouldn't it be wise to at least ask yourself: the person I marry, would he/she be someone who will support me, take care of me, stand by me thru' thick & thin, sticks with me to hell & back (somehow this seems more applicable to be asked by men.. anyways).
Personally if I were TS, I wouldn't just judge my fiance vs my FB based primarily on my feelings & emotions... our emotions can be transient & volatile & very much influenced by circumstances/ actions of others. My advice: dig deep & be clear-headed. Look
beyond the sex & the GFE ... cos as evidenced by a few threads in the Adults Discussion section - those characteristics are NOT guaranteed permanent wifey-fixtures after papers are signed
