[Sfan]

And so, I come to the end of my story, and the reason for posting here.

I hope to somehow find a way to let S know, what I feel about the incident. Is she worried about something? Did something happen to her ? If she had a sudden change of heart, at least I hope to have a chance to tell her this.

I honestly felt we had a great arrangement, something that both of us enjoyed and maybe even looked forward to. If she is worried that her identity had been somehow discovered by me, I want her to know that no matter what, I wouldn't betray her trust by disclosing her identity. The nature of arrangements such as ours, after all, lie in confidentiality and discretion. I myself would also not wish for our little get-togethers to be known either.

Right now I'm in a situation I don't know how to resolve. Do I just forget her and move on ? Part of me thinks I should. But I can't help but feel that this meeting with her was special, something I'm not likely to be able to find again. I should at least try to find a way to explain this point. Rather than give up so easily.

Yet how do I bring my point across to her, to at least explain that it doesn't matter even if I know who she was ? I definitely won't seek to cause her harm. That I understand that discretion is important to her ?