mistress wants to bear baby

[korean]

Originally Posted by zan888

Which woman is not emotional?

Maybe a possible solution is to find a job which require you to travel to China often and find a charming guy who will be your wife's bf so she will take her attention off you. I suspect your wife is just scared of losing..not losing you but the status if being attached. Since you have showed her little affection, her feelings for you are more based on fear than love. I believe she is able to start her life afresh with someone else since you both are young.

I dont think you have to give up everything to be with your gf. You are just at wits end because you dont understand your wife and the source of her feelings. Once you address that you are home free! Good luck and keep us updated.

I understand my wife very well, and the above guessing is wrong to my understanding. Of coz, so much I hope I'm wrong

[smoky7]

Bro TS, as u mentioned that your wife will go sucidal if u initiated the idea of a divorce or separation. Then have u ever considered trying to salvage this relationship? If u have tried or feel that there's simply no point in salvaging your marriage, then why not consider using a 3rd party to speak her?

I have a good friend whom was entangled in a similar situation as yours years back. Tried his means to salvage his marriage, but realised he loved somebody else more. He had a heart to heart talk with his father, and his father was the one whom eventually sat the wife down and broke the news to her that divorce was probably the best option for both parties. Surprisingly, his wife took it better when words came from a 3rd party, and the divorce was settled amicably. He remarried, and is going to be a happy father. I understand that his ex wife has also moved on and remarried as well.

As what many bros and sis have said here, disappearing ain't the option to what I see, resolve this sticky situation properly. It may take time, but it's better than just vanishing into thin air and hoping for the best. My opinion, be a responsible chap, you still have obligations towards your wife as she is your legally wedded spouse. All the best bro.

[korean]

Thx for your insightful advice. I'd rather talk to her personally than using a third party. As the chance could only be once, be it whatever approach I going to take, I don't rush for it and doing ground work n preparation. Beside getting advices from different parties, I took every small opportunities to brain wash my wife and also monitor her mental state. I'm preparing to do serious reading in related subjects. Long n tough journey definitely, but I gotta do it.

Originally Posted by smoky7

Bro TS, as u mentioned that your wife will go sucidal if u initiated the idea of a divorce or separation. Then have u ever considered trying to salvage this relationship? If u have tried or feel that there's simply no point in salvaging your marriage, then why not consider using a 3rd party to speak her?

I have a good friend whom was entangled in a similar situation as yours years back. Tried his means to salvage his marriage, but realised he loved somebody else more. He had a heart to heart talk with his father, and his father was the one whom eventually sat the wife down and broke the news to her that divorce was probably the best option for both parties. Surprisingly, his wife took it better when words came from a 3rd party, and the divorce was settled amicably. He remarried, and is going to be a happy father. I understand that his ex wife has also moved on and remarried as well.

As what many bros and sis have said here, disappearing ain't the option to what I see, resolve this sticky situation properly. It may take time, but it's better than just vanishing into thin air and hoping for the best. My opinion, be a responsible chap, you still have obligations towards your wife as she is your legally wedded spouse. All the best bro.

[coolmanspooky]

I read through the last 3 pages of what is being posted. TS, you wanted a divorce yet you are scared that your wife might do something to hurt herself? Did you seek her family for help? And as far as i know, if a couple goes through separation for 3 years, even if a party is unwilling for a divorce...the divorce would be automatic...

[clinton]

seems a new trend to divorce wife and get baby from mistress ... in asian countries

[hijav]

Korean, you may disagree but I seriously feel you should get both sets of parents and your wife to sit down and thrash it open once and for all.

You are not only too soft but you have basically experienced BOTH emotional blackmail and bullied into submitting to your wife and in laws' whims.

Stand up for yourself as a man and take proactive action. By saying that you need the time etc, thats basically just an excuse to be passive and delusional at the same time!

[korean]

Originally Posted by coolmanspooky

I read through the last 3 pages of what is being posted. TS, you wanted a divorce yet you are scared that your wife might do something to hurt herself? Did you seek her family for help? And as far as i know, if a couple goes through separation for 3 years, even if a party is unwilling for a divorce...the divorce would be automatic...

Hi bro,

I'm fully aware of the divorce procedure, yes I scare she may commit suicide if I divorce with her. If I seek her family for help, I'm 101% sure they will not agree with the divorce, and they may trigger my wife to do funny thing.

[korean]

Originally Posted by clinton

seems a new trend to divorce wife and get baby from mistress ... in asian countries

I think it is divorce the forever bull trend in most country, not even a pullback

[korean]

Originally Posted by hijav

Korean, you may disagree but I seriously feel you should get both sets of parents and your wife to sit down and thrash it open once and for all.

You are not only too soft but you have basically experienced BOTH emotional blackmail and bullied into submitting to your wife and in laws' whims.

Stand up for yourself as a man and take proactive action. By saying that you need the time etc, thats basically just an excuse to be passive and delusional at the same time!

If really sit down with both parents n talk openly, it will put her into shame and again she may got even higher chance to commit suicide. Some ppl may dare to take the risk but not me at the moment, at least not in front of me.

[Boinkboinkboink]

Interesting topic.

Jin jia lat, yea, TS?

At the end, nobody can ever read someone else's mind so well, all the time.

[korean]

Originally Posted by Boinkboinkboink

Interesting topic.

Jin jia lat, yea, TS?

At the end, nobody can ever read someone else's mind so well, all the time.

You maybe able to read, just aa matter how much.

[korean]

Just notice this thread is one year anniversary today. How time flies...

The title is no longer relevant but unfortunately I couldn't change the title myself. Firstly, she is my lover instead of mistress; secondly, she doesnt talk abt baby anymore as there is more intermediate mission to achieve.

Too many things happened within a year. It is difficult for me to write down every details. I will write in points form as a start.

- She (called her angela) finally told me she was married to a doctor with a son of age around 4 before coming to sg. Main problem of her marriage is due to her mother-in-law.
- We met a few time in johor
- Our relationship gone sour abit as she complained not seeing me sufficiently by visiting her or even she was in johor, I dont have much time for her. another reason is I have another lover.
- I have another lover (baby) who is also a WL.
- Divorce or separate from wife is in slow progress. probably will have more progress very soon

[a2014]

TS, at least you have achieve something in life.

Originally Posted by korean

- She (called her angela) finally told me she was married to a doctor with a son of age around 4 before coming to sg. Main problem of her marriage is due to her mother-in-law.

This is quite normal, the problem is not who she married, the funny thing is why she get into such trade when she if not wrong happily married. Well we don't blame her, this is her life.

Originally Posted by korean

- We met a few time in johor
- Our relationship gone sour abit as she complained not seeing me sufficiently by visiting her or even she was in johor, I dont have much time for her. another reason is I have another lover.

That is why last time I did asked you how long you knew her, apparently time can proof everything. As a long time friend that can go to bed, YES, but certainly not beyond that. It takes a while for our heart to stable down and find our direction. Certainly not easy.

Originally Posted by korean

- I have another lover (baby) who is also a WL.

Take care, now you will know how to deal with it.

Originally Posted by korean

- Divorce or separate from wife is in slow progress. probably will have more progress very soon

Sad to hear that, however you will have to decide, that is nothing outsider like us can do.

Take care.

[korean]

Originally Posted by a2014

This is quite normal, the problem is not who she married, the funny thing is why she get into such trade when she if not wrong happily married. Well we don't blame her, this is her life.

I dont really get you. Apparently it is not a happy marriage and the only reason not divorce for now is she would liek to give her son a 'complete' family and do not want a step mother for her son. until her son grows up she will file for a divorce. She got no money and she acked as a father to support her mum (for a house) and younger brother (for marriage). Reason being she claimed for responsibility of her dad dead since young (not listened to her dad and made him angry which result in sick)

That is why last time I did asked you how long you knew her, apparently time can proof everything. As a long time friend that can go to bed, YES, but certainly not beyond that. It takes a while for our heart to stable down and find our direction. Certainly not easy.

yes time can proof everything. I know she still love me, but I'm not sure how much love I still have for her. Time will tell. Her first prioirty is to save enuf for her brother to get married, and secondly to get herself a house. Worst come to worst she will go back to small town and stay with her mum. She would like to see me as and when opportunity arise for time being.

Take care, now you will know how to deal with it.

Now I got headache to choose between either angela and baby. Both of them accept what I have and who am I today. I forsee myself to stay with one of them in china in near future. Time will tell.

Sad to hear that, however you will have to decide, that is nothing outsider like us can do.

Thanks for your encouragement. It is difficult and heart broken decision.

[damong777]

Originally Posted by korean

- Divorce or separate from wife is in slow progress. probably will have more progress very soon

Hope everything can be settled soon. D can be tiresome issue if not settled properly.