Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[yellowdove]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Woman: I strongly believe my husband has been cheating on me.... I suspect one particular woman but not sure! .... What to do?

Counselor:
Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically..

😄😄😂😂😂
Can't beat this one 😝😝

Technology can be dangerous.....

Lesson: Do not anyhow connect to other's wifi

[Hurricane88]

Naughty but true factsxxxxxxx
________________________________
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
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Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
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Breaking news: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
________________________________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
____________________________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
____________________________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________________
*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________________
*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________________
*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________________
*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
________________________________
*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake
________________________________

Just for Laughs... Enjoy 😂😂

[zhousu]

Support very good thread. Thanks bros!

[SBMEDSUP]

More jokes pls.

[Hurricane88]

A woman in Malaysia went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea..
'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.
'Actually, yes, I do.'
'Does it hurt you?' he asked.
'No. I rather like it.'
'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'
The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?'
'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK OUR POLITICIANS COME FROM?"

[Hurricane88]

*Today is World Happy Husband Day.*
Let us keep *2 minutes silence* and read some quotes of great personalities.

*First quote*
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– *Al Gore*

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– *Socrates*

Wife inspires us to great things and prevent us from achieving them.
– *Mike Tyson*

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
– *Bill Clinton*

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– *Michael Jordan*

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– *Barack Obama*

When you are in love,
wonders happen.
But once you get married, you wonder, what happened.
- *Steve Jobs*

And the best one is…

Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by Beautiful Deer.
- *Brad Pitt*

*World Happy Husband Day !!*

[Hurricane88]

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

[BJstreet]

Good afternoon

[Battlequeen]

Originally Posted by BJstreet

Good afternoon

Good afternoon.

[BattleKing]

Have a good day

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

what she holding on?

[Hurricane88]

For a good laugh...
 
MARRY?  WHY? WHY?
 
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
 
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
 
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
 
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
 
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished!!
 
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
 
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
 
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say... talk in your sleep.
 
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
 
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to
forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray
for strength, I'll just beat him to death'
 
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!
 
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

😂😂😂

[etsys]

Originally Posted by SBMEDSUP

what she holding on?

Red Indian cock lah

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[jianfu]

Originally Posted by SBMEDSUP

what she holding on?

You don't have one, that's why you don't know