Question to married bros & sis

[LauYewTee]

Hi all, probably it is best to start with my situation first, so as it will be easier to understand it further...

We are late 20s. I am Guy, my lady, who I feel is someone I love and wish to spend the rest of my life with. However, we always have petty fights over minor issues and she will get very irritated(eat too much also can flare) Sex is mundane, and she is boring and lazy. I think it can be improved. What I really like is her person and individual. Basically, everything outside of bed, and arguments is fine I guess. . ..
Apartment, odds and knots, have been handled and done up.

My question is, is there any bro or sis, in this situation and married. I really do not wish to spend the rest of my life with someone that is of this nature, I honestly do not know.
There is also no one that is in my life that I can talk to with regards to this, because people think we are doing well. Sighs.

[ch33zy]

U really have to ask urself whether u can bear with her current character and behaviour for the rest of ur lives.. if u are unable to bear with it from time to time, then u have to consider if anything can be done or have a heart to heart chat with her.. otherwise the journey may be a challenging one for both of u..

There is no perfect life but only the life that both of u strives to achieve and maintain along ur journey of life..

[HCKing]

bro actually yr situation is very common out there. you can never find a perfectly tailor made gf who is also a goddess in sex. unless u wanna wait for such a girl to enter yr life, which may never happen. if the main problem is lack of good sex it can always be compensated by commercial sex so dont think too much.

[DemonicSS]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you already said you find her lazy and boring, so how can you still like her personality?

Petty fighting and arguments are often a sign of immaturity. I cant really say if its your fault, but to keep it simple, lets just pin the blame on her....

Next to note is that you feel that "she can be improved". This thinking is often disastrous as you expect her to conform to your ideals. So its kind of no wonder you often quarrel. If she thinks the same way too, then I believe that the only thing you can think of being together is quarreling.

3rd. You need to let go of your pride to drop the facade and let others around you know of your problems.

4th. Your doubt is a good indicator that she may not be the one for you. For this you have to consult your friends as they often already have an opinion of your girl, only that they do not wish to say until asked. My only advise is to heed their word. Tell your friends to be frank and honest and you will have your answer

[yang punk]

If now, sex is boring and mundane, it will only get worst after marriage!

Can her good points out weigh all the bad points you have already mentioned? Looks like you are heading into a life of misery.

[sexynoob]

Divorce is always on the table if u regret your choice. If before married sex life sucks after married will be worst been there. Life isn't perfect but if she is always there for u she is the one.

[LauYewTee]

Originally Posted by ch33zy

U really have to ask urself whether u can bear with her current character and behaviour for the rest of ur lives.. if u are unable to bear with it from time to time, then u have to consider if anything can be done or have a heart to heart chat with her.. otherwise the journey may be a challenging one for both of u..


There is no perfect life but only the life that both of u strives to achieve and maintain along ur journey of life..

Originally Posted by HCKing

bro actually yr situation is very common out there. you can never find a perfectly tailor made gf who is also a goddess in sex. unless u wanna wait for such a girl to enter yr life, which may never happen. if the main problem is lack of good sex it can always be compensated by commercial sex so dont think too much.

Originally Posted by DemonicSS

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you already said you find her lazy and boring, so how can you still like her personality?

Petty fighting and arguments are often a sign of immaturity. I cant really say if its your fault, but to keep it simple, lets just pin the blame on her....

Next to note is that you feel that "she can be improved". This thinking is often disastrous as you expect her to conform to your ideals. So its kind of no wonder you often quarrel. If she thinks the same way too, then I believe that the only thing you can think of being together is quarreling.

3rd. You need to let go of your pride to drop the facade and let others around you know of your problems.

4th. Your doubt is a good indicator that she may not be the one for you. For this you have to consult your friends as they often already have an opinion of your girl, only that they do not wish to say until asked. My only advise is to heed their word. Tell your friends to be frank and honest and you will have your answer

Originally Posted by yang punk

If now, sex is boring and mundane, it will only get worst after marriage!

Can her good points out weigh all the bad points you have already mentioned? Looks like you are heading into a life of misery.

Thanks for all your opinion.... is there any suggestion on how to speak deeply into it?

[LauYewTee]

With my ex .. Sex is really wild and exciting. This one. Is very(maybe extra very) plain vanilla ..

However, life is still happy and it was actually quite sometime before we even do it for the first time. I really don't know.


I understand sex is very important, but I mean, .. oh fuck, I don't even know.
Is married life really so... unbliss????


Any bro or sis, have "er ren si jie" as a norm after marriage??

[Yakuza]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

Hi all, probably it is best to start with my situation first, so as it will be easier to understand it further...

We are late 20s. I am Guy, my lady, who I feel is someone I love and wish to spend the rest of my life with. However, we always have petty fights over minor issues and she will get very irritated(eat too much also can flare) Sex is mundane, and she is boring and lazy. I think it can be improved. What I really like is her person and individual. Basically, everything outside of bed, and arguments is fine I guess. . ..
Apartment, odds and knots, have been handled and done up.

My question is, is there any bro or sis, in this situation and married. I really do not wish to spend the rest of my life with someone that is of this nature, I honestly do not know.
There is also no one that is in my life that I can talk to with regards to this, because people think we are doing well. Sighs.

To answer to ur queries, as a 1st step, use this guide .. may not be 100% accurate but sure will help u along the way :

1. As the old chinese believed, nvr hv a partner wif 3 yrs age diff (ignored the mths, just count the year of birth). Good in short term, but after 3 yrs .. this also include anyone around u and also ur very own children .. so ... if u want to make babies .. make sure u do a proper calculation by deducting 9 mths from the predicted birth of ur baby for the insemination ..

2. Compatibility - check tis out if u r compatible
a. Chinese Zodiac Compatibility
or search google
b. Compatibility Test

3. Read up on bro puffysong's contribution Chinese Horoscope I

The above will help u sort things out abit to help u onto the next step, since u mentioned that "Apartment, odds and knots, have been handled and done up.", spend a little time & effort to do more research on the above b4 sinking deeper in, which will complicate matters further.

Hope this will give u a clearer directions .. cheersss

[Yardstick]

I advise you two to go for pre marriage counselling first. It will be good for you.

In addition, what do you mean by petty fights? (You said see too much also quarrel? Define too much? Maybe she believes that you are over eating and worry about your health?)

As for sex life, there is a need to remember that some are brought up in an environment where they believe sex is dirty or only for breeding purposes. Is she from such an environment?

You may want to find a chance, sit down with her, a paper for each, write down what you want in life, how and what each expect of the other in marriage, things you want to do together most and least, etc. Remember that this exercise must be done with a open mind and truthfulness.

[LauYewTee]

Originally Posted by Yakuza

To answer to ur queries, as a 1st step, use this guide .. may not be 100% accurate but sure will help u along the way :

1. As the old chinese believed, nvr hv a partner wif 3 yrs age diff (ignored the mths, just count the year of birth). Good in short term, but after 3 yrs ..

2. Compatibility - check tis out if u r compatible
a. Chinese Zodiac Compatibility
or search google
b. Compatibility Test

3. Read up on bro puffysong's contribution Chinese Horoscope I

The above will help u sort things out abit to help u onto the next step, since u mentioned that "Apartment, odds and knots, have been handled and done up.", spend a little time & effort to do more research on the above b4 sinking deeper in, which will complicate matters further.

Hope this will give u a clearer directions .. cheersss

Noted, will have a look.

Originally Posted by Yardstick

I advise you two to go for pre marriage counselling first. It will be good for you.

In addition, what do you mean by petty fights? (You said see too much also quarrel? Define too much? Maybe she believes that you are over eating and worry about your health?)

As for sex life, there is a need to remember that some are brought up in an environment where they believe sex is dirty or only for breeding purposes. Is she from such an environment?

You may want to find a chance, sit down with her, a paper for each, write down what you want in life, how and what each expect of the other in marriage, things you want to do together most and least, etc. Remember that this exercise must be done with a open mind and truthfulness.

Hey bro, thank you for your great advice ! It made clicks in certain forms, and I believe counselling might help.
It is really nitty gritty, and, eg making my schedule my way or she complaining about herself eating too much, then get REALLY fed up and just spoils everything !

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

With my ex .. Sex is really wild and exciting. This one. Is very(maybe extra very) plain vanilla ..

However, life is still happy and it was actually quite sometime before we even do it for the first time. I really don't know.


I understand sex is very important, but I mean, .. oh fuck, I don't even know.
Is married life really so... unbliss????


Any bro or sis, have "er ren si jie" as a norm after marriage??

depends on how u look at it bro. many reasons y ppl get married. can be for emotional support, own family and children and also sex. but no matter how wild and hot the girl is able to perform on bed its a matter of time u get tired of it and start looking for new excitement. more importantly is chemistry, trust and mutual respect as these are hard to obtain, much less maintain.

[Kaomangai]

Hi bro, since you've already tied the knots, it's a little too late to regret now. All you can do is to try your best to liven things up as a married couple. Easier said than done I know, but still need to be done, unless you wanna end up in divorce.

Marriage is very different from dating as you'd know by now. How I cope with it is to have hobbies of my own, a "happy place" I can escape too when things get too overwhelming. A happy sex life is one part of it, not everything.

As for er ren si jie, enjoy it thoroughly before you decide to have children. Once children come into the equation, you can kiss it goodbye, at least for the next 5 years.

[curry_mutu_man]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

Hi all, probably it is best to start with my situation first, so as it will be easier to understand it further...

We are late 20s. I am Guy, my lady, who I feel is someone I love and wish to spend the rest of my life with. However, we always have petty fights over minor issues and she will get very irritated(eat too much also can flare) Sex is mundane, and she is boring and lazy. I think it can be improved. What I really like is her person and individual. Basically, everything outside of bed, and arguments is fine I guess. . ..
Apartment, odds and knots, have been handled and done up.

My question is, is there any bro or sis, in this situation and married. I really do not wish to spend the rest of my life with someone that is of this nature, I honestly do not know.
There is also no one that is in my life that I can talk to with regards to this, because people think we are doing well. Sighs.

why marry a local girl, Singapore girl is famous for their cocky demanding behaviour, waiting to be treated like a princess 24/7.

The trend in Singapore now is to marry a foreign spouse, dump the local girl pls !

[DemonicSS]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

With my ex .. Sex is really wild and exciting. This one. Is very(maybe extra very) plain vanilla ..

However, life is still happy and it was actually quite sometime before we even do it for the first time. I really don't know.


I understand sex is very important, but I mean, .. oh fuck, I don't even know.
Is married life really so... unbliss????


Any bro or sis, have "er ren si jie" as a norm after marriage??

TS, let me drill it in your head. If you are happy, you wouldn't have started this thread. Until you resolve the issues, your relaionship at this moment is toxic. Sex is an important component in a relationship and it cannot differ too greatly between the 2 of you. You just said sex is dull and that is bad. Marriage is blissful if you choose wisely.