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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #61  
Old 27-09-2022, 10:39 AM
bpafree39 bpafree39 is offline
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

I went through hell and back bro so i can understand. End of the day if you are in too deep, you will not listen to anyone's advice no matter how logical it seems. The best part of the relationship could be over, you are just pushing on because of the memories you both shared. Hope you will wake up up soon with minimal damage (emotional and financial), there are plenty of girls around to divert your attention. PM me if you need help bro, take care.
  #62  
Old 28-09-2022, 11:57 AM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnyop View Post
Hi,
I can completely understand and am in a similar situation as OP. A FL and I sort of liked each other over our sessions and then we decided to get into a relationship. I am attached and she even said that if I was single we would get married immediately. Things were good the 1st month, (sex was awesome, FJ was raw, sometimes cum inside) and I just buy her stuff (some quite expensive) where I try to be a normal boyfriend to her. But soon my insecurities set in and I tried to restrict her from doing a lot of things (such as overnight booking or having sex with clients that pays her to drink or eat). Then I broke up with her (1st time breakup) because it was too much for me to bear then and I was scared that I will lose her eventually.
However, I really couldn't let her go and then patched things up with her. However, she became more guarded and like OP, I always get jealous why she can't she just give me like more time when we meet up and I was "deprioritized". I felt like my money spent on her was worth less than the money spent by her clients. The last straw was when one client paid her quite a significant amount for her to travel with him for a couple of days and that's when I thought, I really needed to get out of this (2nd time breakup). If not, I will always feel very inferior in the reln and will go crazy imagining all the stuff that he would get to do with her which I do not get.
Well, shame on me but 2nd time I still failed to go cold turkey. I still couldn't get over her and now we still "hook up" and I basically try to bury my emotions and just treat her as a FwB (ie try not to ask about her work or intervene). However she then requested that I sort of give her a monthly notional stipend and still have "access" to the past activities that we had. I hate to think of her as just a working girl or using her as I do care for her and would be willing to wait till she hits her targets.

I am truly at a loss of what to do bros. The flesh is weak. Should I just think of myself as a customer or just slowly break contact with her or be cheeky and reduce the payment everytime I see her?

incremental changes bro, you know the direction you need to go, if you can't take a step towards there, take 1/2 a step, can't take half a step, just turn your body and look at the correct way, just do 1% more each time and then to use a cliche, time will heal all wounds.


start with delay contact by a couple of hours then a day, then 2 days, in between find new ML or try something new to distract yourself, it'll help.

gd luck.
  #63  
Old 01-10-2022, 03:55 PM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Thanks all for the advice and thanks for this thread. I know what to do.
  #64  
Old 02-10-2022, 04:05 AM
Meowmeo Meowmeo is offline
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Usually the way is to find another lady to get the attention off just 1 person.
  #65  
Old 05-10-2022, 06:57 PM
mervis99 mervis99 is offline
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

find more girls , bad dont go, new wont come
  #66  
Old 11-10-2022, 01:23 PM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Getting intimate with opposite sex in a way usually will develop to real feeling and liking, especially if she is the tender loving, KC strong type, she will hook you up like a fish immediately, you will find yourself repeatedly going back for her and seek her attention like text messages and her calls, that’s when it all happens…you kena KC by her skills
These girls are whores, they work for money, their skills and jobs are to hook men up and in return they give you ‘love’ and sex
I strongly advise those fallen brothers to pick up yourself and look at the real truth! They are just Whores 😂
  #67  
Old 12-10-2022, 10:13 AM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Many in this forum have either the same experience or went through similar ones as you OP.

The reason why we engage sex workers is because they are sexually attractive. And that in itself is why we want female's attention in the first place (to get sex). When the sex is good - we get hooked, and its a slippery slope from there.

Having sex is their job. It's really that simple. As humans we find it hard to disassociate sex and intimacy. Our minds simply go haywire when the target of our affections is having sexual relations with another. We are not built like that. No matter how good is it one day you would remember about how good it was. It seldom lasts and often the happy endings stops in the bedroom and not ever after.

Enjoy the sex and company but do not envision anything more. If you find it tough to maintain a transactional relationship - my recommendation is to find others as a replacement .
  #68  
Old 12-10-2022, 01:15 PM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoslord View Post
If you find it tough to maintain a transactional relationship - my recommendation is to find others as a replacement .
That’s really just perpetuating a really bad cycle though.

It’s like switching between different drugs, alcohols or cigarette brands.
  #69  
Old 14-10-2022, 05:12 PM
LoveHateTrilogy LoveHateTrilogy is offline
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Hope all the bros here are doing fine

Life's too short to be dragged down by heartbreak

Might help to indulge yourself in a favorite hobby; anything to keep your mind off the lady.
  #70  
Old 15-10-2022, 04:15 AM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
Yet after being so massively mind fucked as you put it, he can still afford to have the Dutch dismantle a historic bridge for his toy boat to pass.

I don’t know anybody who can be mind fucked and still afford all that.

He is rich because he works hard, and smart and knows exactly when and he will allow himself to be ‘mindfucked’.

He is nothing like men who can barely afford nice things for themselves yet work themselves to death to impress women and still end up paupers.

Whether men are rich or poor is irrelevant, it is all about the attitude and ambition and men lacking in both will always get mind fucked by women.
Why are some people extraordinarily rich while many are extraordinarily poor? This is one infamously naive explanation by a Singapore ex-minister - "I work hard, I earn more, my medisave is bigger. You’re lazy, you work less, your medisave is small." Work hard or work smart or both, the probable truth is much more complicated than it appears.

It has everything to do with.... luck. Being born with the right genes, to the right family, at the right time.... and a million other details.
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  #71  
Old 15-10-2022, 04:28 AM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoslord View Post
Many in this forum have either the same experience or went through similar ones as you OP.

The reason why we engage sex workers is because they are sexually attractive. And that in itself is why we want female's attention in the first place (to get sex). When the sex is good - we get hooked, and its a slippery slope from there.

Having sex is their job. It's really that simple. As humans we find it hard to disassociate sex and intimacy. Our minds simply go haywire when the target of our affections is having sexual relations with another. We are not built like that. No matter how good is it one day you would remember about how good it was. It seldom lasts and often the happy endings stops in the bedroom and not ever after.

Enjoy the sex and company but do not envision anything more. If you find it tough to maintain a transactional relationship - my recommendation is to find others as a replacement .
Absolutely right. Sex workers are sex professionals. In nearly all fields of human endeavour, the performance of professionals tends to outshine the amateurs. No different when it comes to sex. We can say a thousand times "be detached" yet our bodies, because of hormonal secretions during sex may feel differently.

Finally down to the way you are built... some are better than others at being detached. It's down to luck, which rules our lives in more ways than most people suspect.
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  #72  
Old 15-10-2022, 07:35 AM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

In living life, it is about SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES & K NOWING the ODDS.

Example:- to win toto, u must know the odds - 14 million in 1 chance to strike the right 6 combo numbers. To reduce the odds, u buy 1000 combo numbers = 1 in 14k chance. For sure win u will need to buy 14million combo numbers, which will cost $14million to win $1million. So what is luck, when u have a choice to win or not?

Example 2:- u meet a lady of your dreams standing in front of you. Your odds are 50/50 to get to know her, but because of your FEAR of rejection, you kept silent & did not SEIZE the OPPORTUNITY right in front of you to know her, despite a small odd of 1:2 ,of yes or no from her, & instead blame outside elements for your own mental fear, lack of confidence, lack of knowledge on how to approach a lady, etc.
  #73  
Old 18-10-2022, 03:22 PM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

If you like her and want her to be your girlfriend just go for it.

It’s just a job for her whether hj, bj or fj, even if she moans while doing it, making it sound like she is enjoying it. Girls are good at faking orgasm. It’s true of course that she would have screwed hundreds or thousands of men. But you would also have screwed hundreds of women? If you feel that even though you have screwed so many women, in the end, you still deserve to have one woman you can call your own, then she also deserve to have a man she can call her own right? She is also human and can have feelings one.

I think the saying is true lah. Which girl wants to be a whore if she has a choice. Those who provide hj only can earn about $5-6k a month and those who do fj can go up to $9-10k but a lot of the money goes into buying a house back home and paying for their kids expenses and saving for their own retirement. Some are even for paying debts of their ex husband. It is true that it’s hard to verify all these but it’s not impossible to verify. Cannot verify doesn’t mean it’s all bullshit right? So maybe this is something you should work on with her if you really like her?

So don’t spend all your time just screwing each other lah. A relationship is more than just screwing right? Get to know her and her family. If she not keen to share this with you then maybe she doesn’t feel the same way about you Maybe you are just a better customer then in this case, just keep it transactional law.

If both of you can continue in the relationship, then manage your expectations lah. She might be willing to just stick to hj and only let customers roam her with her clothes on as a compromise? Like this she can still take home $4-5k a month? Then for you, you should also stop cheonging right and save your rod for her? Then maybe after a few years when she has saved enough, she can quit the job.

Many of them are also hiding their job from their children or parents. They may sound happy but really it’s just a job and the competition is tough so they have to act the part. There are always younger and prettier girls coming in. If they just sit in the shop and don’t do any advertising with sexy clothes, or when customers wechat, michat or telegram them, they don’t sound sexy (“hi darling, I’m free, when you coming, I wait for you”), ask yourself law, you would be interested or not? So whether they are trying to sound sexy, or act sexy, it’s all part of a job. Just as we cheongsters remind ourselves that the WL are just interested in our money, the WLs also remind themselves that cheongsters are only interested in their bodies, so it’s natural that both cheongsters and WLs are wary of each other. You need to break through that barrier law.

Whether we cheongsters or them WLs, we all are equally tainted lah. So if you really like her and she really like you, then go for it lah. On her off days, go on a date, do things you all like or just spend cuddling up and talking law.

This is just general advice. Follow your gut feel law. Every relationship sure got risks one. So many couples apply BTO flats and when almost got it already then break up. Right? Good luck.
  #74  
Old 21-10-2022, 09:58 AM
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xylphz xylphz is offline
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by demonhunter View Post
Go to a coffeeshop toilet

choose 1 toilet bowl ,

keep cleaning it , maintain cleanliness

do not refrain anyone from using the toilet bowl . anyone can use it anyway they like .

love the toilet bowl , shower it with care .

stand guard outside .

thats what you are doing the whole time .

I literally rolling when I read this, but super good analogy !
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  #75  
Old 21-10-2022, 12:58 PM
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Re: Trying to get over an ML

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnyop View Post
Hi,
I can completely understand and am in a similar situation as OP. A FL and I sort of liked each other over our sessions and then we decided to get into a relationship. I am attached and she even said that if I was single we would get married immediately. Things were good the 1st month, (sex was awesome, FJ was raw, sometimes cum inside) and I just buy her stuff (some quite expensive) where I try to be a normal boyfriend to her. But soon my insecurities set in and I tried to restrict her from doing a lot of things (such as overnight booking or having sex with clients that pays her to drink or eat). Then I broke up with her (1st time breakup) because it was too much for me to bear then and I was scared that I will lose her eventually.
However, I really couldn't let her go and then patched things up with her. However, she became more guarded and like OP, I always get jealous why she can't she just give me like more time when we meet up and I was "deprioritized". I felt like my money spent on her was worth less than the money spent by her clients. The last straw was when one client paid her quite a significant amount for her to travel with him for a couple of days and that's when I thought, I really needed to get out of this (2nd time breakup). If not, I will always feel very inferior in the reln and will go crazy imagining all the stuff that he would get to do with her which I do not get.
Well, shame on me but 2nd time I still failed to go cold turkey. I still couldn't get over her and now we still "hook up" and I basically try to bury my emotions and just treat her as a FwB (ie try not to ask about her work or intervene). However she then requested that I sort of give her a monthly notional stipend and still have "access" to the past activities that we had. I hate to think of her as just a working girl or using her as I do care for her and would be willing to wait till she hits her targets.

I am truly at a loss of what to do bros. The flesh is weak. Should I just think of myself as a customer or just slowly break contact with her or be cheeky and reduce the payment everytime I see her?

You should cultivate the habit of " Variety "
Never fuck the same whore more than twice even if shes that good .
You cant just keep eating chicken rice every meal whole year long .
You cant keep going Bangkok for your vacation .
You need spices , flavors and varieties in your life .

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