How badly financially ruined is life after divorce?

[rix6669]

Originally Posted by airman

how long have you been married? perhaps getting someone who your wife is closed to or look up to and let this person give pointers on making your marriage work.
I suspect your wife thought the marriage counsellor was just an outsider and would not take in his/her views seriously.
By the way, how did you get this marriage counsellor and how much did it cost?

8 yrs. She believes she smarter than everyone so it's quite hard for ppl to talk sense into her. Only if u fully agree n support her way then u are good. She just assumed this and I dunno from where she got this unshakable confidence from. Not even her parents can talk sense into her. One of the reason she keep looking down on me, even I earn more, she claim she will earn much more if she focus. End up every jobs doesn't even last 6 mths.

Just referral by relatives. At least learn from the session lah..

I still thinking weather to sell the house or give it up to her n baby. Still pissing me off once a while.

[rix6669]

Originally Posted by balotelli

Done that when my kid was 3 years old.
Similar situation.

I would say, my financial situation is better AFTER the divorce. But that might specific to my situation.

If she never contributes anything, and you paying, let's say 80% of the expenses, after divorce, everything becomes 50-50.

Yes but if really sell flat, I will fight for 60. 50-50 just enough cover my cpf and she gain too much profit out of it.

How much do u pay for the kids maintenance?

[airman]

Is your wife aware that you are planning to divorce her?

Perhaps things will change once you show her the ultimatum?

[rix6669]

Originally Posted by airman

Is your wife aware that you are planning to divorce her?

Perhaps things will change once you show her the ultimatum?

Yup we already discussed about this. And agreed to certain terms, but all this are to her advantages. I will give up almost 200k of cpf and cash. But as she keep pissing me off, I not sure if I want to give in now.

[airman]

I suspect your wife has it all planned to divorce you and get 3/4 of the assets. I suggest not giving in to all her demands as you need to plan for yourself financially after the divorce.

After this is over, do you plan to remain single or still have faith have another marriage?

[kingkanibu]

woman's charter is a bullshit thing... side woman too much...
basically she can strip u of almost everything...

what i did was hire an army of lawyers and go civil suit way...
so much so that she tried to directly contact me and ask me to do out of court settlement and she will fk all the woman charter nonsense thing and drop it all...

consulted and ask my lawyers to see if can add harassment into the civil suit or not too and yup it can be added...

5 years court case... i won...
got her to be declared as bankrupt as she could not pay up the sum owed to me after the court judgement even after she made a few appeal on the judgment...

want to play... i can play...
she should have known my character better before going into woman's charter and shit to try to leech me off my assets...

she is now in early 30s and is a divorcee and bankrupt...


i cant help smirking when i think back...

[Freshguy]

Late to the thread but wish you all the best man. Stay strong.

[VOGS]

Originally Posted by rix6669

8 yrs. She believes she smarter than everyone so it's quite hard for ppl to talk sense into her. Only if u fully agree n support her way then u are good. She just assumed this and I dunno from where she got this unshakable confidence from. Not even her parents can talk sense into her. One of the reason she keep looking down on me, even I earn more, she claim she will earn much more if she focus. End up every jobs doesn't even last 6 mths.

Just referral by relatives. At least learn from the session lah..

I still thinking weather to sell the house or give it up to her n baby. Still pissing me off once a while.

IMHO, I suggest you to engage a lawyer to advise u on the necessary. I, myself, am a fool who gave the 5 room HDB to my ex spouse 2 years back. We have no child back then, she initiated the divorce and we proceed on with an uncontested one. Till today, though I m happily married in another marriage, many a times I feel like an idiot, reason being, should not have be a generous guy. Of cos, I bought my own 4 room resale flat now with little funds left on my CPF OA coupled with the high interests rate from the bank.

Yes, I’m working but the monthly contribution of $1,200 from the employer to the said account is inadequate. I reckon that the remaining funds in my OA can merely last for another 2yrs.

Bro, do not be reckless with a decision which may affect u in the future. Cheers, and have a good week!

[sbwow]

She is not going to be your wife anymore.
All she thinks of you is the sad loser.
Just use the law to fuck her up big time and leave her with nothing.
She deserves this for letting you go through this mess, it does sound like she had it planned all along.

[rix6669]

Originally Posted by VOGS

IMHO, I suggest you to engage a lawyer to advise u on the necessary. I, myself, am a fool who gave the 5 room HDB to my ex spouse 2 years back. We have no child back then, she initiated the divorce and we proceed on with an uncontested one. Till today, though I m happily married in another marriage, many a times I feel like an idiot, reason being, should not have be a generous guy. Of cos, I bought my own 4 room resale flat now with little funds left on my CPF OA coupled with the high interests rate from the bank.

Yes, I’m working but the monthly contribution of $1,200 from the employer to the said account is inadequate. I reckon that the remaining funds in my OA can merely last for another 2yrs.

Bro, do not be reckless with a decision which may affect u in the future. Cheers, and have a good week!

I wouldn't give up the flat if no child. Spouse maintenance can no need give if wife can support herself, child maintenance cannot avoid one.

So it's Abit like suffer financially now, no need pay monthly, but the property prices now is making things much much harder. 400k for just a 3rm hdb..
or take back most of what I contributed but pay monthly til the child becomes adult. Now the problem is wife hearsay, has friends say, assume, kids maintenance is always Ard $1200.
So $1200 for me is almost 1/3 of my gross liao, if she insist on this amount then also jialat for me. Although this amount sure cannot justify but she is persistent in "not losing out even a cent" kind.

Just trying to understand fully both options and prepare myself mentally.

[sbwow]

By letting the child stay with the mother, she will most likely brainwashed the child into believing you are a bad person. Do you want a child that you have spent so much money and effort to disown a father all because the child is staying with a mentally unsound person?

First and foremost, talk to a lawyer. Get his knowledge on how to go about this. By contacting an attorney, you are doing everything in a legal manner.

Upon your lawyer’s advice, you may have to prove how your wife is unstable. Be it by her actions, or how she handles things at home. Or with others.

Your lawyer may suggest that you discreetly install a video camera somewhere in the house, where she won’t find it so you are able to video tape her actions.

Actions speak louder than words, if you catch her in the act then you’ve won your case. Pictures don’t lie. And, if it is shown to her, then she cannot deny it.

Once you have evidence of her behavior you can give this tape to your lawyer he can show this to the judge, and this is how you work towards getting child custody.

You will have to prove to the judge that your wife is mentally unstable and that it is not in the child’s best interests to remain with her.

If she has seen a therapist, you can subpoena the records. Talk to an attorney.

It is best to have an attorney when custody is concerned.