Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for more jokes.

[watercum]

Originally Posted by dyelook

who's Biden?

Trump's good friend

[etsys]

Originally Posted by watercum

Trump's good friend

Trump not allowed in White House after January 21

Why ?

It's For-BIDEN

[35cents]

another nice one there dude......!

Originally Posted by etsys

Trump not allowed in White House after January 21

Why ?

It's For-BIDEN

[Hurricane88]

*Hope u enjoy reading this hilarious piece on a gloomy rainy day* 👇

MY DOG NAMED SEX:

My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog Sex.

It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life.
Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a licence for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have one, too.”

Then, I said, “You don’t understand. She’s a dog.”
He replied, “Look man, I don’t care how she looks.”
“No no, I’ve had Sex since I was 5!”
He replied, “You must have been an early bloomer.”

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I’d have to wait until after the wedding.
When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life.

After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.
She replied, “Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex.”
I said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.”

The clerk said, “Me too!”
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “Me too.”

One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight.

I told him, “I’m looking for Sex!”
My case comes up next Tuesday.
Now that I’ve been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I’m in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.

I said, “Sex has left my life. It’s like losing a best friend and I’m so lonely.”

He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn’t man’s best friend. Why don’t you just get yourself a dog..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is hilarious

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[etsys]

one more ..

[watercum]

Originally Posted by etsys

Trump not allowed in White House after January 21

Why ?

It's For-BIDEN

Good one bro lol

[SBMEDSUP]

Support for more jokes.

[cupid xpress]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Hope u enjoy reading this hilarious piece on a gloomy rainy day* 👇

MY DOG NAMED SEX:
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is hilarious

This is so bo liao.... Lame and boring

[Hurricane88]

*Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating, she said ‘how does the male know when the female is ready for sex ?*
*I replied he can smell she is ready that is how nature works.*
*We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe, again my girlfreind asked how the ram knew when the ewe was ready for sex ?*
*I replied 'it’s nature he can smell she is ready'.*
*We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating the cow; my girlfriend said this is odd they are all at it, surely the bull can’t smell when she is ready.*
*I said look it’s nature, all animals can smell when the female is ready for sex.*
*Anyway, after the walk I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye, she said 'take care and get yourself checked for Covid-19.'*
*Surprised, I asked her why she feels that way ?*
*She said, “I think you seem to have lost your sense of smell”.*🤭🤫🙏

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

A bride tells her husband, “You know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything
about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”
“OK, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’
and call my private thing ‘the prisoner.’ So what we do is put the prisoner in the
prison.”
And then they make love for the first time.
Afterward, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Darling, the prisoner seems to have
escaped.
Turning on his side, he smiles. “Then we will have to re-imprison him.”
After the second time, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl,
thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive
smile, “Darling, the prisoner is out again!”
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born
foal.
Afterward, he lies back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, “The prisoner has escaped again.”
Limply turning his head, he shouts at her, “It’s not a life sentence, OK?!”

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A bride tells her husband, “You know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything
about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”
“OK, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’
and call my private thing ‘the prisoner.’ So what we do is put the prisoner in the
prison.”
And then they make love for the first time.
Afterward, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Darling, the prisoner seems to have
escaped.
Turning on his side, he smiles. “Then we will have to re-imprison him.”
After the second time, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl,
thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive
smile, “Darling, the prisoner is out again!”
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born
foal.
Afterward, he lies back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, “The prisoner has escaped again.”
Limply turning his head, he shouts at her, “It’s not a life sentence, OK?!”

Nice jokes. Thanks.

[35cents]

** forehead slapping moment **

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating, she said ‘how does the male know when the female is ready for sex ?*
*I replied he can smell she is ready that is how nature works.*
*We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe, again my girlfreind asked how the ram knew when the ewe was ready for sex ?*
*I replied 'it’s nature he can smell she is ready'.*
*We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating the cow; my girlfriend said this is odd they are all at it, surely the bull can’t smell when she is ready.*
*I said look it’s nature, all animals can smell when the female is ready for sex.*
*Anyway, after the walk I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye, she said 'take care and get yourself checked for Covid-19.'*
*Surprised, I asked her why she feels that way ?*
*She said, “I think you seem to have lost your sense of smell”.*🤭🤫🙏